A formula for freedom
Love + Courage = Freedom
If you can choose to love yourself and others no matter what and have the courage to take the actions you sense will bring that love into the world, you are free.
Conversely, if you choose to hate or resent and act or don’t act out of fear, you are trapped.
Embody the love and courage, and you will experience freedom.
Closeness
What makes a relationship work is harmony. It brings about co-creation and ease, sometimes even with intensity.
As you are sensing whether or not to share something or bring something up with someone, will it ultimately create more harmony or discord?
If your long-term intention is collaboration, then harmony should be your intention. Although there will sometimes be dissonance as we learn to play together in new ways, how might you show up in a way that makes your good intentions clear?
Future wisdom
As I reflect on any challenge I have been through, I wish I had worried or freaked out less, not more. Sometimes I wish I had been more aware or intentional, yet never more worried.
I wish I had been kinder to myself and others, trusted the process or rested more deeply in my faith. Even when things didn’t “work out,” I still see that less worry and more love would have been helpful.
More panic is never the answer. More love is.
The big weight of little things
Freedom comes from utilizing your discipline to let go of the trivial, because it is through wasting your energy on the inconsequential blips that life begins to feel heavy.
One of the beautiful benefits of focusing on what is essential is that it rewards you with feeling like your time was well spent and knowing you made a positive contribution.
Step into freedom by releasing the temptation insignificant and embracing the fulfillment of the imperative.
When I am having a bad day
I just know it’s a day where more music, sunlight, and movement will be required, even though it’s what my mind might tell me it doesn’t want.
Add in more of the good stuff to help carry you.
Decisions bring possibility
When you avoid making decisions, the same old thoughts, ideas, and concerns play on repeat in your mind.
When you make new decisions based on who you choose to become, new thoughts, ideas, and possibilities emerge.
Often what stops us from deciding is the challenges we think we will face implementing the decision. However, what keeps a sense of confusion present is our unwillingness to be creative and trust our ability to make the changes we want to make.
The decision and the execution of that decision are two different things. If you know the correct choice, make it so you can have the new, creative ideas you need to support you.
Surrender to simple
At the end of our days and lives, it will be abandoning the most simple things that we regret.
Our daily dose of sunlight and hugs. Extending compassion to ourselves and others. Saying no to distractions and yes to what is most life-giving. Time spent in silence or reflection. Nourishing foods. Movement.
The simple things that support us most sometimes feel like the most challenging to prioritize, and it’s okay that it feels challenging. As a whole, we are in a process of re-integrating and re-prioritizing the simple blessings that we let fall to the wayside in favor of the drama of the complex.
How could making room for the simple things that work help you be clearer, kinder, and more effective? Even if it feels hard. Even if just a little bit at a time.
Feel good instead of feeling right
You may be addicted to seeking our what’s wrong because it makes you feel right.
Feeling grateful is not only more fulfilling than feeling right, it’s more useful if you want to be your most clear and creative.
When you notice the pull to be right, practice focusing on feeling good instead.
When more feels like less
We have been taught to see more as a measure of success. If we can have more, do more, and accomplish more, then we matter more. However, most of us have noticed that beyond a certain point, having more on our plates can make us miss out on the feelings of happiness we so deeply want.
What if success is the practice of having the perfect amount to experience what matters to you most? Maybe feeling presence, fulfillment, creativity, contribution, gratitude, happiness, or joy is just as valuable, or even more valuable, than trying to achieve an åun-achievable end goal of “more.” If more is always the goal, you will never have enough.
Ironically, there is always more presence, gratitude, joy, and all the other good stuff available. However, this is only the case when we stop making more for the sake of more our context for life.
Question what the mainstream says about success so you can feel successful.
Change and consistency
The more comfortable you get with change, the more consistent you can feel.
Suppose your happiness relies on things staying the same. In that case, you will avoid courageous conversations and sweat-inducing self-expression, allowing yourself and others to grow and move forward. And when you avoid these things, you also avoid possibility.
When you truly decide to step into the leadership role in your own life, your only choice is to surrender to change. And when you do, it is pretty freeing. You no longer need to spend energy keeping the status quo in place.
Instead, since change is always happening, you can enjoy spending your energy on discovering how to respond to a change in ways that help you, and others experience more love. You can learn to live with clarity and contentment as your baseline to navigate challenges with ease and faith rather than struggle and doubt. Steadiness is yours when you no longer need things to stay the same.
As you expand your peace practice and feel how much it connects to your wholeness, you may upgrade from accepting change to seeking it out.
What do you need?
Knowing what you want is one thing, and then there is the discipline of having the structures you need to have what you want.
What new support do you sense you need to have what you want? It probably feels inconvenient, and that’s why it doesn’t exist yet. So go ahead and create it.
The burden and gift of imagination
As human beings, we aren’t so good at reality. Our gift is our imagination, and it can also be a curse.
When you notice yourself imagining failure, you have the power to flip to a picture of success to make things easier. Whichever picture you hold in your mind creates your next actions, not reality.
Use your imagination intentionally so it doesn’t use you.
It’s a lighter lift than you think
It could be way easier than you think.
The weight of the new and unknown are what feel heavy, not your inability. Your courageous actions are what will unlock your creativity and make it light.
Time makes the unknown feel heavier, so why not get to it right now?
You are safe
We know we are happiest when we are curious, loving, non-defensive, and open with others. So why do we undermine our happiness by becoming opinionated, judgmental, defensive, and closed?
The answer is likely our fear. Our fear is trying to keep us alive, yet most of the time, we aren’t in danger of losing our lives. Each of our jobs in our collective human evolution is to notice when outdated, unnecessary fear keeps us from relaxing into our wisest, most relaxed, most content, collaborative selves and use our resources to shift into love.
You know how to optimize your life for happiness. You are not the fear that undermines your intentions; you have a choice. Take some deep breaths. Listen to your favorite song. Get yourself outside. Forgive yourself and others and begin again.
Now that you know what’s possible, where do you want to take it?
Possibility is the prerequisite for true choice. If you have to avoid something because there is no possibility there, your fear is trapping you, and you don’t have all your options available.
Living a life of possibility requires seeking out possibilities in the uncomfortable. If you only consider things that feel comfortable as viable options, you will never have the opportunity to express or receive at your highest potential. You certainly do not have to choose the most uncomfortable option, and the most uncomfortable certainly isn’t always the best option based on what your intention is, yet being able to see what might be available to you if you were willing to trust yourself and the process will open up your life in ways you could never predict.
But who do you get to become?
By becoming a leader of your life rather than a reactor to life as if it were an outside force, you are taking on the responsibility of being the one to navigate obstacles as they reveal themselves. Responsibility is a blessing because it is the only way to develop into the most beautiful, multi-dimensional versions of ourselves.
The essence of responsibility is to be someone who looks for opportunities, especially when it feels like things shouldn’t be the way they are. So instead of wishing it weren’t happening, ask yourself who you will get to become in the process.
Resilient, strong, open, creative, compassionate, unstoppable, committed, loving, courageous, healthy, and curious are some facets of your most whole, expressed self. So allow the surprises of life to polish you so you can shine.
Are you really doing it?
Or are you checking it off the list?
Are you meditating, or are you just sitting there?
Are you creating relationships, or are you just interacting?
Are you allowing your creativity to reveal itself, or are you rushing to get it off your plate?
Are you prioritizing your family, or are you just worrying about them?
Are you taking the actions to create a new habit, or are you wishing for change?
Are you inhabiting and enjoying your body, or are you trying to control it?
We benefit from our actions when we are fully present in the process and the moment. So it’s time to use your precious energy to really live rather than checking your life off the list. What will that take for you?
You are creating the culture
Creating a more connected, human culture in your organization, family, or community takes asking the right questions and listening for the most authentic answers.
In general, people aren’t used to being asked meaningful questions from a space of genuine curiosity. The unfamiliarity of such an invitation may cause surface-level responses at first. Your job is to create trustworthy spaces and relationships where people can learn to show up and relax over time.
As you commit to making long-term change, demonstrating consistency is critical. Show up daily with wonder and faith in yourself, others, and the process. Things can change when you finally become brave enough to discover how they are.
For what, though?
If you are fixated on something to punish yourself or “fix” something about you, the results won’t likely lead to a happier, healthier life.
So, is it making you happier and healthier, truly? Likely, the things that make you truly healthier will also make you happier. It’s also likely that the things that make you authentically happy will also make you healthier.
It could be that the quality of your life is measured by how joyful and vibrant you feel while living it. Love yourself enough to let these two “metrics” be what guide you.
If you need clarity, get compassion
The thing that is usually blocking us from moving forward with ease in our relationships with ourselves and others is compassion.
When we find ourselves frustrated, judgmental, resistant, angry, reactivated, or resigned, we can use compassion to help us clear the dirt of our lenses and see the truth of our humanity.
Harboring the ill will never help us become whole. Compassion can help us understand.