Most people will never apologize because they are too scared or too ashamed. The best way to get complete with people who have not come to do you with an apology is to assume that since they are human, there is a part of them that knows that they did was harmful. Yet, they don’t have the emotional intelligence or capacity to ask for forgiveness.

We can have empathy for this experience if we choose to, and choose to forgive. Forgiveness is never for the other person; it is so you don’t have to spend your energy resenting anyone. When you choose empathy and accept the apology you haven’t explicitly received, you get your life back.

Where is it time to stop waiting for someone to set you free so you can free yourself?

Inner rest is a state you can connect to and live from that allows you to work hard in the world without burnout from proving, worrying, or over-exerting. Inner rest is a state that comes from knowing you are something way bigger than your thoughts, body, or emotions. That thing has many names; its essence is pure perfection and cannot be changed, touched, or taken away by anything. Inner rest is available to you now and forever and is most helpful when we feel least compelled to surrender into it.

Remembering we have this place inside of us allows us to have more choice. We can choose to work hard when we feel it serves our intentions, and we can choose to rest fully when we feel like that is required. Our minds and the people and things around us will almost always have reasons to quit when hard work would be helpful or to push through when rest would be best. Inner rest is the place we can dwell that can help us choose freely based on what is most important.

How might your approach change if you allowed yourself to rest in the bigness of your essence?

Many say they want to grow, get stronger, become wiser, become happier, or be more effective. Yet, their desire to stay comfortable is more potent than their desire to change because they have focused on it longer.

Almost all change involves intensity. It feels intense to share our most personal selves. It feels intense to allow our bodies to do the reps to get stronger. Sitting and being still feels intense when our minds pull us towards reality. It feels intense to choose to be loving when we want to blame. If growth feels intense and most people avoid intensity, then most people avoid excellence.

Many folks will tend to go for the things that feel like they are checking the box of “doing the thing,” yet it requires the least intensity. This is why we see mediocre things gain popularity so often.

As you create with a commitment to excellence, know that it might not catch on as fast as something mediocre, yet there is no greater reward than knowing you gave everything you had to give.

Gentleness and softness are essential aspects of Self-love. However, to truly love our Selves means respecting and working with our human design, and growth is an essential part of our happiness and ability to thrive.

A good amount of our growth comes from pressing into and through discomfort. It comes from doing the things we know are good for us that we don’t “want” to do. So yes, love your Self enough to rest and restore, and also love yourself enough to do the new, uncomfortable, hard things.

Whenever you feel pulled to believe it’s one or the other, remember it’s both.

We humans tend to complicate things and make them messy. However, a higher order can support us in being happy, healthy, and helpful if we choose to tune into it.

Peace exists; we need to make space for it. Joy exists; we need to remember to prioritize it. Space exists; we need to seek it. Truth exists; we need to listen for it. All the beautiful things we want for ourselves and others exist; we need to value them enough to build our lives and systems around them.

Prioritizing what The Divine values most takes extraordinary work and commitment, yet it gives us all the things we deeply wish for that we waste our time looking for elsewhere.

What would you need to be willing to let fall away so you could prioritize tuning into a higher order?

Every great story, every great lesson, every hero’s journey comes to pass through an extraordinary challenge. This doesn’t mean we need to survive a huge trauma to grow; it does mean that our willingness to move through discomfort is essential for transformation.

The challenges of being human are abundant daily if we are truly present. The challenge to stay focused on what is most important, the challenge to remain your most loving self when being exposed to mass media and the reactivity of many people, the challenge of being courageous and speaking up or creating something new, the challenge of asking for forgiveness or granting forgiveness, the challenge of reconnecting to your vision after a minor or huge setback, or any other human experience that brings up the intensity of our more resistant emotions. However, many of us choose to stay oblivious to the challenges because of the intensity. We would rather check out than check in because it feels easier than growing.

The good news is, once we decide to make our lives about growth and service and seek places to get uncomfortable daily, we realize how good we can feel. This is because we were designed to be resilient and continue to grow no matter what happens to us. We can’t always choose what happens to us in this community of 8 billion people who were all granted free will, yet our gift is that we can choose how we move through what happens. It might even be possible that our potential for growth increases with the level of challenge we are dealt. This never feels fun, yet we can practice having faith in our design and ourselves as we aim to make our lives meaningful for ourselves and others.

Easy is wonderful. Enjoy it when it’s present. Yet, as you navigate the things you wish weren’t happening, know that the way you show up has the power to upgrade you to the next version of you.

If you are in the wake of what feels like a failure, know that one of the ways that failure wins is by confusing you. It begins to convince you that you are a failure and that the success you had once experienced or the success you dreamed of has slipped through your hands, never to be seen again.

This is one of the lies that failure tells us. First and foremost, ultimate success is living our lives from a place of wisdom, not reaching a measurable outcome and “making it” for good. Wisdom becomes abundant to us when we “fail.” If we are willing to continue to evolve, there are abundant lessons to learn in every failure, big or small. And if we decide to make wisdom and growth the goal, we can unearth the lessons and integrate them into our lives, making choices and decisions from a disciplined place of inner knowing. This decision, to learn and keep running towards our dreams, will change the trajectory of our lives.

You have not already peaked. There is no possible way you cannot have more success in the future than you did in the past now that you have learned your new lessons. You are wiser now.

It takes an average of 66 days to form a habit, and only if you do it daily.

It can take hearing something new up to 35 (or more!) times for someone to consider integrating it into their lives.

This is your reminder that if you tried once and it didn’t stick, don’t panic. And definitely don’t give up. Transformation shows up for those willing to fail not just once but dozens of times.

We are a culmination of our habits and patterns, not our one-off inconsistencies. What we commit to matters much more than what we try on inconsequentialy.

To feel complete with something, even when it isn’t “complete,” we must be proud of how we left it. And genuine, authentic, helpful pride comes from knowing that we were the most loving versions of ourselves that we could be.

Something to remember here is that love is not the same as agreement. We can disagree and hold a loving space for the other person or people to navigate their growth journey. Yet, we can make the discomfort as palatable as possible by letting them know who we are for them in word, action, and energy.

If you can sense you could have done better, you have the opportunity to get to wholeness by owning that and doing your best now. Doing your part in the never-ending dance of completion means ensuring your last step is taken with love. This will let your mind rest as everything unfolds.

Don’t work out because you are already strong; work out so you can become stronger.

Don’t stretch because you are already mobile; stretch so you can become more mobile.

Don’t meditate because you are already calm; meditate so you can become calmer.

Don’t be compassionate because you are already kind; be compassionate so you can become kinder.

Don’t study because you already know; study because you want to know.

Don’t practice because you are already great; practice so you can become great.

Where is it time for you to stop putting it off because you aren’t already ______________ ?

We have been wired and conditioned to focus on what is wrong with us so we don’t grow into our potential.

This is tricky because to evolve into the most whole versions of ourselves, we must be able to notice areas of possibility and hone our skills. Yet, seeking new skills from a place of inherent wholeness differs from extracting our sense of self-worth from our yet-to-be-developed growth areas. If we continue to allow everything we haven’t mastered yet, which is most things, to prove to us that we are incapable, we will never be at peace- and peace is our birthright.

If you are committed to expanding your ability to serve and provide value, you will never reach a “perfect” stopping point. With this being the case, why not focus on what is right inside you instead of what is wrong as you grow? You were born worthy, creative, and complete. Looking for reasons to believe otherwise will block you from receiving and, therefore, contributing. Imagine how much more willing you might be to seek new opportunities for learning, feedback, coaching, and helpful discomfort if you could rest inside your wholeness rather than wait for the world to tell you.

You are amazing. Some people and energies don’t want you to know that. You win when you focus on what is right in you.

Getting from Point A to Point B would be easy if it weren't for that tricky little Point in between; maybe we can call it “Point A.5” that we wish we could skip over.

Point A.5 is sticky, challenging, frustrating, heartbreaking, confusing, nerve-racking, confronting, and many other things, yet it is essential to pass through to get to Point B. This significant place of each journey we embark on makes the trip from Point A to Point B feel complicated instead of simple. Point B always seems easy to see, yet we know that Point A.5 awaits deep in the valley or high on the peak we cannot yet see.

We will only make it where we want to go if we are willing to endure the uncomfortable stretches. What can help is knowing the A.5's will be there, so when we find ourselves in them, we can celebrate ourselves for doing the work rather than thinking the journey is over because we hit an obstacle. It's not over; we are gaining the strength to make it the rest of the way.

It will not be a life-changing journey if you can make it from Point A to Point B with one big, effortless step. The fulfillment, wisdom, and growth happen as you spend time in the Point A.5's.

Courage has two parts—the courage before the thing and then the courage after the thing.

The root of the word courage is cor, which means heart. To me, to operate from the heart means to operate with love. When putting myself out there in a way that feels vulnerable, I almost always need to remind myself that I am doing what I am doing for a bigger, more loving purpose. This is the only way I seem to be able to muster the courage to do it. I need to love myself and others enough to be willing to receive pushback, upset, envy, defensiveness, or any other projection I may receive in response. I choose to let my love be the thing that inspires me to take action despite the action moving me into the unknown.

However, the courage before taking action is only half of what we need to focus on to live lives centered in the heart. The other half of the equation is to keep our hearts open after the action so we can remain loving no matter what. Remember, we needed bravery in the first place because the outcome of the action was uncertain, and we might have received an unprefferable reaction. In the case of the less-than-desirable result coming to pass, it is so vital that we keep our courage present and stay loving to ourselves and others. If we do something bold, and it doesn’t turn out “well”, so we then become a jerk, then the courage didn’t work. Judging someone or making them wrong due to how they responded to your expression zaps the love right out of what we are creating. The key is having compassion and empathy for everyone, including ourselves, as we navigate the other side of taking non-attached action.

When we can work on connecting to love before we leap and reconnecting to it immediately after, we can truly live lives of the heart. Courage is a way of living, not a singular heavy lift.

Faith comes before confidence. Faith does not need to be earned. Faith is knowing that you can, simply because you were designed with the potential as your birthright as a human being. Stop wasting time doubting if you are able.

Confidence comes after faith and is built through a discovery and learning process that can only be gained through experiencing successes, failures, ups, and downs through dedicated practice. The feeling of confidence comes with time and consistency inside the context of faith, not perfection. So, stop waiting to be perfect to start the journey to confidence.

As you allow yourself to hone your skills, be kind to yourself. If faith is your foundation, you can stay in the game long enough to excel.

You will gain more attention as you expand your contribution and your impact grows.

As you gain what feels like positive attention for the excellent work you are aiming to do, know that you will also gain negative attention. Just as people will like what you are doing and celebrate it, there will be people and energies who don’t appreciate what you are doing, are threatened by it, and will need to oppose and degrade it. This is part of the deal of growing your reach.

You can’t please everyone, and you can’t even please most people. However, serving the people you hope to serve is the greatest reward, so get clear on who that is and who that isn’t.

Who do you need to be willing to gain negative attention from so you can earn positive attention from the correct people?

Are you playing to win or just playing because there is still time in the game, and you are waiting for it to be over?

It’s never too late to come back and win, especially since winning is a choice, and no one needs to lose for you to succeed. Being a winner comes from knowing that your mindset around what is possible is more important than what circumstances are showing you and giving everything you have to give to make that possibility a reality.

If you want to guarantee a loss, focus on the doubt. If you want to win, play to win.

Where is it time for you to play to win instead of just playing?

The thing that is going to set you apart is not that you already know; it is that you are willing to learn.

Knowing might get you going, but it won’t keep you going. As you progress, there is no way you will know how to do the things you will need to do. This is where most people will stop. Doing the unglamorous work of learning what is unfamiliar is the thing that guarantees your success.

Where is it time for you to put in the effort learn something new so you can go the distance?

To live a big life means to find the perfect, dynamic balance in this strange area. When you are committed to evolving the world around you and being of service, you will see things to do that nobody knows explicitly they want or will ask you to do. Go and do those things. The secret to success, however, is knowing that you probably won’t get appreciated for those things. So it would be best to do them because you want to, not for the accolades.

The flip side of this is the idea of being responsible for spending your energy doing the things that actually make a difference for people. So, knowing what the people in your life and those you aim to serve want is critical. Once you are clear on what they want, you can support them in moving towards where they desire. If they want something, and you’re not helping them get there, it won’t feel like service, and your job is to serve.

It’s our ongoing work to understand how to serve when people don’t know what they want and when they do. Either way, the fulfillment lives in the act of serving itself, not the responses we get.

You can only go all in on one thing if you quit many other things, and often, quitting something that has been draining your focus and purpose is the only way to not quit on yourself.

If you are considering quitting, remember, you can quit well. It doesn’t have to be abrupt, messy, or divisive. Quitting can be an extraordinary opportunity to get complete.

Your current skill level or capacity has nothing to do with what is actually possible for you.

As you sense it’s time to grow in a particular area, give yourself grace by releasing expectations that you should have already done the work. At the same time, grant yourself permission to imagine what being successful beyond your wildest dreams in this area looks like.

Your job is to meet yourself where you are and take action toward the dream outcome. Your job is to ensure that you don’t hold back or hide in order to stay comfortable or “powerful” in what you have known.

What might it look like to be patient with yourself as you step into a process, yet be honest with yourself so you can make your most significant difference?