Choose boundaries over punishment

Punishing is a way of being; consequences are boundaries. You can set boundaries without punishing people.

We are designed to support one another and free each other from suffering. We are not designed to discourage and oppress one another by inflicting shame on whoever happens to reactivate us. This is why punishment never brings people closer to themselves or one another.

If we want to heal at an individual and community level, love will be the only thing that will do that. Boundaries are meant to be supportive by creating clarity, not judgment.

Double-check your intentions when you feel pulled to add judgment, shame, or hatred on top of your boundary. It is in this tension that you have the opportunity to choose love and be kind and clear.