We are designed to support one another by being a clear space for one another.

When we show up for others with our own agendas, opinions, fears, doubts, or resentments, we don’t help anyone. We often think we are “helping” people by shaming them, telling them what to do, sharing our opinions with them, judging them, showing them how they are wrong, or showing them how we are right. The truth is, all this does is make them feel bad, and no one makes good choices when they feel bad. They make good choices when they feel good. Even worse, we feel bad when we make others feel bad, even if we don’t realize it at first.

Our job is instead to show up with clarity to whomever we are with or aiming to serve. We can do this by recognizing any of the above-mentioned heaviness or cloudiness we may be bringing into a moment and consciously choosing to set it aside. We can listen with curiosity and ask clarifying questions that aren’t about fully understanding or agreeing with the other person, but about the other person learning whatever it is they are meant to learn, which we can never fully know. All we can do is hold space for people to continue to discover new things as they evolve and love them and ourselves through the imperfection.

When we can clarify our intentions, ground ourselves in the moment, and hold space for discovery over the long haul, we all blossom.

Where might it be time to stop forcing and start clearing?

There is a state we can access called choice. We often think of choice as something we do, when really it is a way of being. Being in a state of choice is like being in love or in a state of gratitude. It connects us to our clarity so we can see what is possible and discern our next best action or inaction.

The opposite of being in a state of choice is being in a state of reaction. This is a way of being where worry, fear, doubt, judgment, and unforgiveness are running the show. It disconnects us from our clarity and the possibilities available to us and instead shackles us to confusion and limitation, blocking us from hearing our own intuition, hope, and wisdom.

When we find ourselves in a state of reaction and we want to be in choice, we can begin the process by simply letting go of all the things that are blocking us from truly choosing. These might be a fear of the unknown, a discomfort of hard work, an attachment or aversion to someone else’s reaction, or an old resentment or frustration with ourselves or someone else. Letting these things go doesn’t mean we make them go away, it simply means we can allow them to be there an not value or prioritize them. We can notice fear and take action anyway. We can notice our attachments and realize our worth isn’t actually tied up in the opinions of others.

The bottom line is we are not truly creating our lives if we are not consistently shifting back to a state of choice when we find ourselves in a state of reaction. If we stay in reaction, then fear, doubt, and judgment are creating our lives. However, our job is not to never slip into reaction as that is an impossible goal. Our work is to simply return to choice again and again. It’s a never ending game that becomes more and more rewarding as you practice and play.

What is it time to let go of you so you can have your choice back right now?

If you do it as a gift instead of a burden, you will be the one who ends up receiving the gift.

Life is a gift and happens only in moments, tasks, and choices. You receive the gift of life when you create your next breath or next action as an act of generosity and an expression of gratitude.

What might you receive if you spoke, helped, wrote, ate, read, responded, typed, listened, cleaned, or anything else you might “have to” do as if it were a gift?

Not asking the correct type of question keeps us from moving forward, whether life has been beautiful or challenging.

A helpful question, no matter what has happened, that we can ask ourselves is:

How can this help me make life more meaningful for myself and others?

Trust the truth.

It's a simple idea and not always easy. Often, we fear the truth and resist it instead of trusting it and working with it.

Where are you suffering because you are resisting the truth? What if all information were good information because it was helping you know your next step? What would change if you trusted the truth rather than fearing it?

We can only begin to understand how life truly is when we understand that we will never be able to understand how life truly is.

The way life truly exists is beyond our perception. The moment we think we’ve figured it out, we’ve moved away from the one mysterious truth.

What if not knowing was the beginning of real understanding?

Maintaining your inspiration is your full time job. If you wait around to feel inspired by things you happen to consume, experience, or spend time around, you’re going to be waiting forever.

Our job is to curate our experience, not control it. There’s a difference. Do your best to choose what you spend time around and what you consume, whether it is music, social feeds, or food. Yet, it’s also about observing your experience in a way that creates inspiration. Notice your thoughts, notice your circumstances no matter what they are, then choose the next step toward what’s important to you. This action also creates inspiration, and simply remembering you’re not your thoughts or your circumstances can be inspiring as well.

If you want to contribute to others and yourself, maintaining your inspiration is your responsibility.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

What if inspiration wasn’t something you had to wait around to feel, but something you could choose?

Heartache is love working hard to stay connected to someone or something. It’s not a loss of love, it’s love expressing itself through through time and space.

When your heart aches, it’s because it loves so much. The intensity is proof of how deeply you care.

What if heartache isn’t something to fix, but something to be in awe of?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Trying to control change cuts us off from our inner wisdom. Observing change, being curious about change, and facilitating change that wants to happen connects us to our inner wisdom.

If we want to be happier and more powerful in our lives, our job is to become excellent and curious observers. When we do this, we will know what to do.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

What if it’s your attempt to control that is confusing you and not the change itself?

There’s value in doing hard things, as they help us grow; yet, we’re often doing the wrong hard things.

The most challenging things are those that support you in cultivating your gifts and strengths over time. This might mean harnessing the courage to say no to things and people that don’t support what makes you unique. This might mean learning to value your talents and passions enough to take them seriously, even when it feels like others don’t.

What’s natural for you is what’s powerful for you. The hard work you’re meant to be doing is amplifying what already exists in you, not forcing yourself to be something you aren’t.

You may not value what comes easily because it didn’t feel hard enough to earn. But your innate gifts are exactly what you’re meant to put out into the world. Your zone of genius wants to expand, and creating the conditions for that expansion is the work you are meant to do.

That next level of your contribution will always be uncomfortable, but there’s a naturalness to it that will enliven you. Go work on that next level.

What gift have you been undervaluing because it comes too easily to you?

We exhaust ourselves trying to do it all alone, then beat ourselves up when we can't. We often mistake self-punishment for discipline when, in reality, it's resistance to growth.

Power doesn’t come from doing it all ourselves. We are designed to feel powerful when we work with others to accomplish more than we could alone. We resist this opportunity to grow not just because asking for help can feel like failure, but because the support team isn't always obvious. The right people aren't always sitting right there, beginning to help you. We may feel like we don’t have the right resources or connections, and this is because building support requires creativity, and creativity often creates resistance.

You're not supposed to be able to do it all. You are supposed to access your creativity and either create or join the right team. The very thing you're criticizing yourself for not being able to handle might be what can only be done with a team.

Stop beating yourself up and get creative instead.

What if you put yourself out there rather than keeping it all to yourself?

When you feel the pull, practice pausing and noticing instead of acting.

Pull back from whatever your body is doing or your mind is demanding before you choose whether or not you want to follow along. What might you feel start to shift if you created just one breath of space between the automatic reaction and your response?

When you listen, you can discern the difference between impulse and intuition. Your job is to let go of the desires of your mind and instead align yourself with the desires of your heart.

What's pulling at you right now? What if you were to pull back and create some space from it before it drags you?

At the end of your life, if someone considering incarnating asked “Would you recommend living?” would you say “Ten out of ten, I recommend”?

This isn’t like rating a meal or movie. Those are prepared for you—you just judge what you receive. Life is different. You create the experience by how you show up, how you choose to perceive, how you engage with what comes.

The way to make life a ten out of ten experience is to bring curiosity, awe, and wonder to every moment. Not waiting around to feel these things, but actively bringing them regardless of circumstances. When you do this, a natural wisdom emerges within you that won’t stand for settling, that won’t accept anything less than absolutely amazing.

You don’t need to suffer through circumstances to have a ten out of ten experience. You accept what is and bring the magic.

What if today you brought curiosity to what normally bores you, awe to what you take for granted, and wonder to what you think you already understand?

Life often feels impossible when our minds dwell on the future, but in reality, the only thing that truly exists is possibility. When we experience intensity, our minds convince us we've made the wrong choice by predicting what is going wrong and gripping for what could be going better. Yet in reality, we have no idea what the “right” or "wrong" choice is, or could have been. In this intensity, our job is to remember to find awe and wonder in the mystery of how our lives are actually unfolding.

Our job isn't to choose or manage it all perfectly. It's to experience the intensity of and letting things unfold and operate from a place of trust.

The only access to peace in this process is learning to focus on what's steady. And the practice of lovingly noticing what is unsteady is what connects us to what is steady. The loving observer in us understands that everything is always changing, and this understanding connects us to the steady Truth within us.

When life feels too hard, the mind is thinking too far ahead. When intensity feels like proof you're off track, the mind is trying to know what it cannot know. You will know everything you need to know when you need to know.

What if you returned to what's steady instead?

Ease comes from trusting yourself to handle what matters.

The mind loves to believe that peace is on the other side of getting everything done and getting it done perfectly, yet actual steadiness comes from allowing most things to be left unattended. A key to this is cultivating the skill of appreciating ourselves for focusing on what is essential, because most other people won’t appreciate us for that. If we seek validation from others, we won’t handle what is most important to us.

Being at ease amid many demands from other people, places, and things is a practice we can deepen that comes from clarity about our priorities and the courage to let go of our perceived control. This shift in our focus transforms busyness into flow.

What if instead of feeling pulled apart, you could feel present and at ease?

Living from a space of contentment is one of the most profound skills we can cultivate, especially because we never truly know when an ending will come. In fact, every moment is a kind of ending, even if we don’t realize it. Whether it’s the end of a day, the close of a chapter, or the final moments of our lives, we often don’t get to choose the timing. If we’re always waiting for things to be perfect, we risk meeting those endings with regret. The ultimate freedom is being able to say, “Things are imperfect, and yet I am whole, complete, and willing to let go.”

When we learn to be content in the midst of imperfection, we access a deep sense of ease. This isn’t about complacency; it’s about embracing life as it is, so we can make wise, present-minded choices. Our fulfillment lies in that acceptance—knowing that even as things end, we are at peace with the beauty and the imperfection of it all.

Where is it time to practice letting things be perfectly imperfect so you can be content now and at the end?

Want to speed up your progress? Get uncomfortable as fast as you can.

your work is to learn the art of stepping into the unknown and feeling the intense body sensations that come with it. When you let yourself stumble, wobble, and feel the rush of confusion or the heat of failure, you’re on the right track. Evolving in real time is a great idea in theory, but it feels very different in practice. Most people avoid this work because it’s uncomfortable, and these are the very sensations we must learn to celebrate. They are proof that we’re evolving in real time, and that’s where what looks like magic happens.

Instead of aiming for comfort, aim to get good at feeling sensations and moving through them. It’s the real work most people avoid, and it’s the work that makes you unstoppable. When you welcome the discomfort, you can do anything.

Where in your life today can you lean into newness and celebrate the learning that comes with it?

Growth is supposed to be uncomfortable.

Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So, when you are moving into something new, expect lots of sensations, thoughts, and feelings to come up and don’t let them scare you. These are all a part of the process so welcome them with open arms.

What if you didn’t need the signs of aliveness to go away to trust your path?

Most of us chase outcomes, hoping to arrive at a feeling. We work toward the promotion to feel valued, pursue the relationship to feel loved, or build the business to feel fulfilled. We postpone the very experience we're seeking until some future moment when the imaginary “right” circumstances align.

The real discipline is simpler and more immediate: connect to the feeling now. Wealth, acceptance, health, and love are like radio stations we can tune into. They are already there if we attune ourselves to them. From this frequency, we can choose to create our lives from a place of wholeness, rather than a place of “not yet enough”.

The outcome we have in mind may or may not deliver what we're really after, but our choice in this moment can—right now. When we understand our true "why," we discover we don't have to wait for permission or circumstance to feel the way we want to feel. The real outcome lives in the process, not in the achievement.

What feeling are you really after, and how could you connect to it now?

The urge to return to "the way things were" is a signal you are facing the wrong direction. By spending your energy trying to recreate what was, you miss out on all possibilities. You essentially become the archaeologist of your life rather than the architect of your life.

Going back isn't possible. The job that ended, the relationship that shifted, the version of yourself that existed years before doesn’t exist anymore. Circumstances have changed, and everything and everyone have evolved. Nothing stays the same, and nothing can be recreated to be the way it once was.

What feels like going backward is simply wasting your energy resisting everything that is flowing forward. Moving forward with that flow becomes effortless if you are willing to turn to face the correct direction. Universal law helps us build momentum with each step and possibility with each choice. The path ahead is the only path that exists, and it's been waiting steadfastly to lead you where you are meant to go.

What would become possible if you stopped trying to return to what was and allowed yourself to be led towards what can be?